Zach Braff in 'The Last Kiss'

Zach Braff as Michael
Casey Affleck as Chris
Barry Julien as Brian
Ian Finlay as Firm Principle






Michael is an architect who dumps his pregnant girlfriend to hit on jail bait. Unlike the crazy antics we remember from Scrubs, this Braff mobile is not that fun. However, it is nice to see an architect who's life is about as realistic as they come (although hes slightly immature), someone who's not a vigilante or chasing women through time (*cough 'Keanu').

Lazy Set Designers couldn't even plot two different boards for the background

While grossly overscaled, the building we see Zach design is certainly in the upper teir of 'architect movie designs.'

Oh, wait, they ran off three of the same boards for the background shots

A bit out of scale with the context....

Unlike so many other movies, where the architects meeting is just a placeholder to fill a few seconds and show that the main character is smart, the following scene is used to show the audience just how immature Michael can be, even in his professional life, while advancing the plot by throwing a curve ball into the subplot relationship of Chris and his wife...


Michael: So I was just thinking that if we move the garage from where it currently sits there's no reason why this atrium couldn't be pulled up the entire height of the building. So that way it's the middle of winter and all these people get to look out their windows and see trees. And maybe even birds.
Brian: Or without the birds.
Michael: Shup up brian
Brian: Like wha...
Principle: Shup up brian
Brian: Sorry
Michael: Dick
Principle: Thats really interesting Michael. I'm just a little concerned about cost. What do you think Chris?
Chris: I think I'm going to leave my wife.

David Duchovny in 'Return to Me'

David Duchovny as Bob Rueland
Brian Howe as Mike







Ok, so David Duchovny is the Principle of a Design/Build firm in Chicago who's married to a gorilla veterinarian who works at the Lincoln Park Zoo. And she dies. But she was an organ donor. A year later David falls in love with a waitress who received his wife's heart, but he doesn't know that shes has his wifes heart. And, this whole time hes been building a new gorilla range for his dead wife, he's falling in love with the new girl who received her heart.


Yes this is a real movie, not a mad lib. Hilarity ensues and they kiss in the end.

Bill Campbell in 'Enough'

Bill Campbell as Mitch Hiller








In 2002 Hennifer Yopez stared in this theater release that should have been a Lifetime Original. Mitch Hiller is an architect who seems like the perfect husband until he starts beating his wife.


As the movie progresses from nonviolent fairytale to super psycho stalker film to exploitation revenge movie, Mitch moves from a Colonial style two story suburban home into a super sleek beach house that is poured concrete and steal beam. Hilarity does not ensue, and she kills him in the end.

Matthew Perry in Three to Tango

Matthew Perry as Oscar Novak
Oliver Platt as Peter Steinberg
John C. McGinley as Strauss
Bob Balaban as Decker





Matthew Perry as Oscar Novak is in Love with Neve Cambell, but everyone thinks hes gay! In fact out of the four architects in this flick, Novak is the only one who is straight. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Anyway, hilarity insues and they kiss in the end.

Not bad design, for a movie architect. Not that theres anything wrong with being that.

Novak and Steinberg make up the firm of Novak+Steinberg, a small firm that is vying for the 900 million dollar civic project that the firm of Strauss+Decker are also going for. The first scene in the movie is a set up of the bad blood that exists between the two groups.

Decker+Strauss Novak+Steinberg

Strauss: Oh look at this! Gilligan and the Skipper too.
Decker: What have you two studmuffins been up to lately? By the way, congratulations on the work you did on that men's room in the bus station.
Strauss: Yes, your use of mosaic in the urinal trough was vaguely reminiscent of the 90 foot mural we did in the lobby of the Hancock building.
Decker: Except people don't line up to piss on ours.
Steinberg: That is not true! We read the reviews.

D+S present the project to the developer by having him wear a virtual reality goggle set that was all the rage back in 1999.

The reviews were true

Struass: Sir, the Charles Newman Cultural center would redefine cultural life as we know it in this city. There would be a museum, an opera house, an international food court.
Decker: Picasso, Madame Butterfly, Burritos!

Well, the developer sets the two firms in a competition with each other for publicity. He tells them to build what seem to be quarter scale models for presentation to the public, where the winner will be decided and announced. So Steinberg and Novak set out to design and build their model, and they apparently set up a whole new office on the site of the design.

I really don't get why people think hes gay

At the office, a girls walks up to Steinberg, and after a brief condescending glance from the goatee'd architect, she runs away crying.
Novak:How much are we paying them?
Steinberg:They're interns. They're free.
Novak:Yeah, well, we're getting ripped off.
Steinberg: *nods yes

Modern Barbie Play House at Quarter Scale

Brian Dennehy in "The Belly of an Architect"

Brian Dennehy as Stourley Kracklite
Lambert Wilson as Caspasian Speckler








American architect Stourley Kracklite comes with his young wife Louisa to Rome to supervise an exhibition devoted to Etienne-Louis Boullée, a French architect of the 18th century. Suffering from severe abdominal pains, Stourley doesn't pay much attention to his pregnant wife, and she finds consolation in the arms of suave Caspasian Speckler. Built from rigidly symmetrical images, the film has quite an unusual subject: the belly -- both the sick one of the architect and the pregnant one of his wife, the rounded forms alluding to the spherical constructions designed by Boullée, the architect whose visionary projects seldom materialized. Beautifully shot on location in Rome, this ironic fable wittily examines the issues of artistic creativity.
~ Yuri German, All Movie Guide



If I have learned anything from the last two movies, its that only American architects are allowed to have fun. Anyway, I added the plot summary from Yuri above because I couldn't have said it better myself. Again, this movie is loaded from beginning to end with studio settings, quotes on working, living and thinking like an architect, that I can't sufficiently summarize it in a few paragraphs. As the movie progresses, Kracklite becomes more and more insane. He writes postcards to the dead architect he is celebrating, he photocopies pictures and sketches of stomachs endlessly, he punches a lot of people in the nose, starts to believe that his wife is trying to poison him and his colleagues are plotting against him.

Of course, during all this insanity, his wife does nothing to make him feel better.
Architect: Tell me please, what does 'oh-ahhh' mean?
Wife: Stourley, you've built six-and-a-half-buildings. And now you're spending nine months putting on an exhibition in memory of another architect who also built practically nothing.
F3!


Of the whole movie, there is one thing that I have to comment on because of its originality. When Kracklite goes to visit a doctor about his stomach pains, the doctor asks what symptoms the architect has.
Not wasting even a moment, the architect says "Why yes, I've been documenting the symptoms."
Here, we would expect a verbal account of whats going on, the sensations that are being felt, an emotional expression of the pain that is spoken. However, the architect proceeds to take out a folder and hand the doctor more than a dozen sketches over photocopies of stomachs, frenzied drawings of red, orange and yellow. Images that are grotesque yet beautiful,images that convey the silent suffering that the architect endures throughout the last months of his life.

Michelle Pfeiffer in "One Fine Day"

Michelle Pfeiffer as Melanie Parker
George Martin as Smith Leland







A day in the life of two single parents, George Clooney is a writer, Michelle Pfeiffer is an architect, both of whom didnt make it to drop off their kid at a field trip, so now they have to trade off kids while they do their business. Inbetween work and falling in love, George has to expose a political scandal and Melanie (Pfeiffer) has the biggest presentation of her life. As she lands the big account, the empowered woman learns that she can't do it all on her own. This film runs like a golden age romantic comedy and has some great, memorable dialoge between the two leads. Hilarity ensues and they kiss in the end.

This is the first film ArchitExploitation reviews with a woman as an architect. Quite an important point in a field that is mostly male, mostly white, and very control oriented. Watch Melanie as she ...

Sketches infront of clients at a bar!

Puts Hilariously out of scale toy cars in a model!

Awkwardly carries the model! I hope she doesn't drop it!

The best lines from One Fine Day come from the scene where the architect takes a model to be repaired at the model shop her firm runs. The model was damaged after Melanie was carrying the model, steped on a dinosaur her son was playing with and smashed the whole thing.

Melanie:How bad is it?
Model Shop Guy: Well, it modulal, so its concievable that I could life out the damaged portion and replace it with the same piece from the mock up so i wouldn't have to start from scratch. It wont be perfect. I know you Melanie, you won't be happy with less than perfect.
Melanie: Today, I will.

That today should be everyday for us all.

In life, I mean. Perfect your work you lazy fuckers.

Wesley Snipes in "Jungle Fever"

Wesley Snipes as Flipper Purify
Tim Robbings as Jerry Mast
Brad Dourif as Leslie Covington






In this film, Wesley Snipes plays an Architect who winds up sleeping with his new secretary. Flipper is a hard working, family man who is next in line for the big promotion at Mast & Covington, a New York design firm. He takes pride in his work, as is seen by this line of dialog between Flipper and his boss Leslie, "Leslie, look, Tony's work here is awful. He's got this elevator shaft 6" off where is supposed to be." He also works long hours....

Oops!

About midway though the movie, Flipper is up for review, where he demands to be made a partner. "Most of the money thats made in this company is because of me, do I have to remind you of how much work I've brought in here! Do you see that design up there, right under the Mast and Covington logo? Thats my design!" After Jerry and Leslie deny him this position, he signs his resignation, and goes to pack up his desk.

In film class I learned how to appear smart by pointing out the mis-en-scene to those less knowledgeable then me. Here, the two partners are standing up while Flipper is below them, and cornered against a wall, he will never make partner.

Planning on working out of his home until his own business gets off the ground, he comes home a few days later to a surprise. His wife just found out about his affair and is throwing all of his possessions out of their second story townhouse window. In an act of desperation, after losing his identity as a family man and a company man he tries to hold onto the only identity he has left by picking up his t-square and a set of drawings.

Its difficult to see, but he is holding onto the t-square and drawing tube

William Petersen in "Fear"

William Petersen as Steve Walker
John Oliver as Eddie Clark







Marky Mark terrorizes an architect's family in this thriller that is set in Seattle. Reese Witherspoon is the daughter of workaholic Steve Walker (CSI's Gil Grissom), an architect who is a paranoid about security. Luckily for him, his paranoia pays off, after Marky Mark's gang lays seige to Steve's state-of-the-art, automatic locked, bulletproof glassed, security camera'ed, lake house.

No magical mailboxes at this lake house

A sub-plot of the movie involves Steve's attempt to land the Vancouver account. Steve's coworker Eddie seems pretty fearful of everyone in the office losing there job. But, apparently Steves the best designer in the firm...

Eddie: The Swaggart Project went to the bad guys. We're on thin ice here. So now its the Vancouver job or bust.
Steve: Well, show me the drafts we got, I'll make the presentation myself.
Eddie: That's what I wanted to hear.

Steve does go on to make the presentation himself, and comes up with this...

He stayed up all night for this?

Eddie: Yes! You did it! This is great. This is a work of art! You think you can stay conscience long enough to crunch out the new numbers?
Steve: I've been living on pure adrenaline for 24 hours, why stop now?

Mark Wahlberg Talks to Architects

"You design buildings? I produce Entourage!
Say 'hi' to your mother for me."

Adam Sandler in "Click"

Adam Sander as Michael Newman
David Hasselhoff as John Ammer
Jake Hoffman as Ben Newman

Michael Newman stands in front of the only semi-decent design in this piece of crap film.

Michael Newman is the typical workaholic architect in this comedy film. After a trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond, Newman finds himself in the possession of a remote that controls the universe. The film starts out with Newman late for a meeting with the Arab Prince Habeeboo (played by Rob "Dwerp" Schnieder), who commissioned a new resturant from Newman's firm, Ammer Architects, headed by John Ammer (David Haselhoff). Newman has the opportunity to present the design concept to the Prince

The Prince Habeeboo and John Ammer discuss high design.

"Prince Haboobie, when Mr. Ammer explained to me the type of man you are, a visionary who prides himself on originality, I said to myself 'Let's smash the mold and redefine elegance'. I present to you, your resturant!"

The awesomeness of it all.

The first question the prince asks, "Where is bar?". Then the prince demands that the bar be bigger, taking over the Atrium/Garden/Pond area. "No atrium, longer bar. And put drain in floor for wet T-shirt contest."
"You're kidding me!?!?" Michael responds.
"Well, he's right, water has to go somewhere Mike," Ammer says as he rips the model apart and pokes a drain into the foamcore with his pencil.
"I love it! It's Awesome!" exclaims the prince.
For those of you students out there, slaving away in studio, don't forget this very important lesson: Water does have to go somewhere.

Later, a chance to design a new hotel for a group of Japenese investors come up, Associate Michael Newman jumps at the chance thinking it will make him a partner. Taking the design home over fourth of July weekend, Michael works late into the night on this:

Angled walls always never a bad choice for good design.

As Michael tires of working, he decides to use the remote to fast forward through the weekend. Keep in mind, that in the movie they show that Michael acts like a braindead fool when he's on "Autopilot", so its no suprise that on Monday morning Mike shows up at the office with this plan:

"Its actually pretty good. Look, a river in the lobby! Cool"

However, Michael is actually suprised that his design is good. I guess he's also a bumbling idiot in real life. However, the Japanese investors don't give a damn. Once again, Mike is forced to sell out to maximize rooms and profit.

The Hoff debating the aesthetic qualities of his secretaries' toenail colors

Who would have guessed, but the remote control starts to develop a mind of its own, and forwards Michael 10 years into the future. How do we know its the future?

In the future, architects still love Barcelona chairs and the Eames chairs.


In the future, all architects will ride segways around the office while carrying brightly colored drawing tube on their back. Why can't this future be now?

Michael Newman now holds the title of "Architect of the Year". I can only assume that the Prizker foundation decides to alter their prize of have been completely wiped out of existence.

In the future, the success of the Freedom Tower leads to the construction of a second, identical Freedom Tower.

In some movies, the architect is supposed to be a cultivated man, a thoughtful man, someone who thinks through problems, is a romantic, or creative. In Click, Sandler's role as an architect is used for two main purposes. The first, as a workaholic, he seems like a great candidate for the Angle of Death (played great by Walken) to give his time remote control to. The second, we get a reminder of how the future is represented by the built environment. If a hospital door opens like a door from the USS Enterprise, it must be the future. Unfortuanly, Newman plays the architect not as the sophisticate, but as the common man who kicks people in the balls and farts in their face. But hey! Who doesn't enjoy a good laugh at a dog banging a stuffed duck?

The aesthetics of the furniture and decor of this frame serve as a reminder that the setting is the present day.