Frank Ghery in 'The Simpsons'

Last night's episode of The Simpson's had Bart entering a model building contest with his model of the Westminster Abbey. He was pitted against Milhouse and Martin, who built OMA's CCTV Tower in Beijing, and Oscar Neimeyer's Brazilian Congress. I've been to one of these buildings, and I'll give you a hint *it hasn't caught on fire yet. I was really hoping that Milhouse's CCTV Model was going to catch fire as Super Intendant Chalmers walked by it, as in a reference to the MP Sketch as seen below.



In any case, this sighting of famous contemporary building reminded me that this isn't the first time that The Simpsons have lampooned modern architecture. In April of 2005 Frank Gehry stared as himself. This show made fun of the 'Bilbao Effect' with Marge trying to get Springfield on the map by constructing a new concert hall designed by the Canadian himself. I could right alot about this, but instead, I'm going to direct you to the posts that have already been written by A Daily Dose of Architecture, Veritas et Venustas, Architecture Enlightens Life, Mirage Studio 7, and DavidTeoh.com.

John Cleese in 'Monty Python'

John Cleese as Mr. Wiggin
of Ironside & Malone
Eric Idle as Mr. Leavy
of Wymus & Dibble






In this sketch, two architects makes very different pitches to real estate developers. One is absurd, and the other is just silly. Is it safe to say that sometimes we take ourselves to seriously? Now, I'm not advocating that we start designing buildings that look like giant picnic baskets or binoculars, but whats it hurt to step back and have a good laugh...

Art Vandelay in 'Seinfeld'

Jason Alexander as George Costanza as Art Vandelay







Importer, Exporter, Architect
Art Vandelay might be as much as a cultural phenomonom as the Bilbao Guggenheim. His presence has spawned numerous t-shirts as seen above, and with the words 'I'm an architect' and 'the new addition to the Guggenheim' printed on them. At Moe's Southwest Grill, a national burrito chain, a special burrito is named 'the Art Vandalay'. There is even a firm in the Netherlands thats named Import/Export Architecture.

Zach Braff in 'The Last Kiss'

Zach Braff as Michael
Casey Affleck as Chris
Barry Julien as Brian
Ian Finlay as Firm Principle






Michael is an architect who dumps his pregnant girlfriend to hit on jail bait. Unlike the crazy antics we remember from Scrubs, this Braff mobile is not that fun. However, it is nice to see an architect who's life is about as realistic as they come (although hes slightly immature), someone who's not a vigilante or chasing women through time (*cough 'Keanu').

Lazy Set Designers couldn't even plot two different boards for the background

While grossly overscaled, the building we see Zach design is certainly in the upper teir of 'architect movie designs.'

Oh, wait, they ran off three of the same boards for the background shots

A bit out of scale with the context....

Unlike so many other movies, where the architects meeting is just a placeholder to fill a few seconds and show that the main character is smart, the following scene is used to show the audience just how immature Michael can be, even in his professional life, while advancing the plot by throwing a curve ball into the subplot relationship of Chris and his wife...


Michael: So I was just thinking that if we move the garage from where it currently sits there's no reason why this atrium couldn't be pulled up the entire height of the building. So that way it's the middle of winter and all these people get to look out their windows and see trees. And maybe even birds.
Brian: Or without the birds.
Michael: Shup up brian
Brian: Like wha...
Principle: Shup up brian
Brian: Sorry
Michael: Dick
Principle: Thats really interesting Michael. I'm just a little concerned about cost. What do you think Chris?
Chris: I think I'm going to leave my wife.

David Duchovny in 'Return to Me'

David Duchovny as Bob Rueland
Brian Howe as Mike







Ok, so David Duchovny is the Principle of a Design/Build firm in Chicago who's married to a gorilla veterinarian who works at the Lincoln Park Zoo. And she dies. But she was an organ donor. A year later David falls in love with a waitress who received his wife's heart, but he doesn't know that shes has his wifes heart. And, this whole time hes been building a new gorilla range for his dead wife, he's falling in love with the new girl who received her heart.


Yes this is a real movie, not a mad lib. Hilarity ensues and they kiss in the end.

Luke Wilson in 'My Super Ex-Girlfriend'

Luke Wilson as Matt Saunders
Anna Faris as Hannah Lewis
Rainn Wilson as Vaughn Haige
Wanda Sykes as Carla Dunkirk





This is a horrible movie.

Drawings!

Architect Glasses!

Hard Hats!

Models!

"Our design integrates classic architectural ideas from the history of Chinese culture and transforms them into a contemporary 21st century aesthetic, but you can see clearly that funtionality has not been sacrificed, as you can see here by the the multiple entrances into the central courtyard area. And with the total capacity for...(stops talking as he sees his girlfriend fly by the window outside)"

Matt Dillon in 'You, Me and Dupree'

Matt Dillon as Carl Peterson
Michael Douglas as Mr. Thompson
Todd Stashwick as Tony






Matt Dillon, having already tried to a role where he is a character pretending to be an architect, now gets to try his chops pretending to be a character who is actually an architect. Here, he's married to his boss's daughter and has to deal with his best friend moving onto his couch.

Obligatory Drawing Shot

The first day back from his honeymoon, father in law Mr. Thompson takes Carl's proposal for a small 'eco-friendly' housing development and turns it into the largest, fast track development the firm has ever done. He also cuts out a few of the essentials...


Thompson: The Oaks at Mesa Vista, stunning, stunning...
Carl: You know sir, if we're not going to have any trees, maybe we should consider changing the name.
Thompson: No! no, no. I love the name. Names are important Carl.


When confronted with the model shown above, Carl doesn't like it.
Carl: What is this? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of a joke?
Tony: Carl, Thompson wanted more units. I thought it would work better as a wrap around.
Carl: Wrap around? Mesa Vista is not a wrap around.


Thompson: You see the preliminaries?
Carl: Yeah, I did. It is completely different from my original proposal.
Thompson: Goddammit Carl, would you stop fighting this? People buy homes, let the government pay for the parks, thats why we have taxes. The Oaks at Mesa Vista is a money train. You want to be on it?

Obligatory Standing in Front of Model Shot

Probably the best part of the whole movie is that Carl knows that the 'Bad Movie Design' is actually bad in real life. Although he states his opposition to the design, the movie never shows his original 'good design' thereby freeing our minds to believe that Carl might actually be good at what he does. Its a cheap trick, but it works...

Gary Cole in 'The Brady Bunch'

Gary Cole as Mike Brady
Steven Gilborn as Mr. Phillips








Gary Cole as Mike Brady, AIA finds out he has only a week to come up with $20,000 in back taxes to save his house. Unfortunately for him, he jumped right out of 1970 and into the early 1990's, where the effects of a recession are in full swing. Money is hard to come about, especially for an architect with limited design skills....



Mr. Phillips: A $20,000 advance! Ha, I'd like to Mike, but we're still hurting from the recession. I only have three developers comming all this week.
Brady: Let me have a shot at those projects, Mr. Phillips. If I can sell one of them my design, you can front me the advance, right?
Mr. Phillips: Sure, but... How should I put this delicately Mike? You designs are from another time.
Brady: Thats kind of you to say Mr. Phillips. I've always thought of my style as classic as well. I'll get right to work.


"What do you think?"
"I Love it, but its too interesting. I want something simple, a couple of self serve pumps and a slurpy machine. Sorry."


"And after much consideration Mr Swanson, I designed a structure especially for your needs. "


"The hardest thing about the health club business is getting people to leave their house."

Tom Hanks in 'Sleepless in Seattle'

Tom Hanks as Sam Baldwin









Tom Hanks is a Chicago Architect who's wife dies (again), so he moves into a house boat in Seattle, is stalked by Meg Ryan and meets her on top of the Empire State Building. Romance and hilarity ensue. They hold hands in the end.

See Sam as he...

Quits his job in Chicago

Visits a construction site

Lives in an awesome house boat

The real kicker (other than the fact that Sam has a full sized plotter on his houseboat) is at the end when they show a dated CGI of the Empire State Building.


The year is 1993, my friends.

Tom Selleck in "Three Men and a Baby"

Tom Selleck as Peter Mitchell








Three bachelors live by themselves in this 1980's showcase of absolutely no style and horrible situational comedy. Peter Mitchell is the architect who in the same day gets mixed up both in sudden single parenthood and illegal heroin trafficking. Hilarity ensues.

Like all comedy architects, we see Peter as he:

Deals with a baby on his Construction Documents

Cant find his Construction Documents

Points to something important on the job site

The best line of the whole movie is when Peter is trying to change the baby and he states, "I'm an architect for Christ sake, I build 50 story skyscrapers, I assemble cities of the future, I can certainly put together a goddamn diaper." The 50 story skyscraper in question is located on 56th btw 6th and 7th, as ascertained by the above picture. In the background, we see Phillip Johnson's AT&T building, which lead me to believe that the building he is building is this masterpiece:

Michelle Pfeiffer in "One Fine Day"

Michelle Pfeiffer as Melanie Parker
George Martin as Smith Leland







A day in the life of two single parents, George Clooney is a writer, Michelle Pfeiffer is an architect, both of whom didnt make it to drop off their kid at a field trip, so now they have to trade off kids while they do their business. Inbetween work and falling in love, George has to expose a political scandal and Melanie (Pfeiffer) has the biggest presentation of her life. As she lands the big account, the empowered woman learns that she can't do it all on her own. This film runs like a golden age romantic comedy and has some great, memorable dialoge between the two leads. Hilarity ensues and they kiss in the end.

This is the first film ArchitExploitation reviews with a woman as an architect. Quite an important point in a field that is mostly male, mostly white, and very control oriented. Watch Melanie as she ...

Sketches infront of clients at a bar!

Puts Hilariously out of scale toy cars in a model!

Awkwardly carries the model! I hope she doesn't drop it!

The best lines from One Fine Day come from the scene where the architect takes a model to be repaired at the model shop her firm runs. The model was damaged after Melanie was carrying the model, steped on a dinosaur her son was playing with and smashed the whole thing.

Melanie:How bad is it?
Model Shop Guy: Well, it modulal, so its concievable that I could life out the damaged portion and replace it with the same piece from the mock up so i wouldn't have to start from scratch. It wont be perfect. I know you Melanie, you won't be happy with less than perfect.
Melanie: Today, I will.

That today should be everyday for us all.

In life, I mean. Perfect your work you lazy fuckers.

Matt Dillon in "Something About Mary"

Matt Dillon as Pat Healy as Pat Healy the Architect
Lee Evans as Norm the Pizza Guy as Tucker the Architect







Although there are no real architects in this movie, two of the characters pretend to be architects to win the affections of Mary, a woman who thinks architects are sexy. Hilarity ensues.

Pat Healy the PI as Pat Healy the Architect

One of the best lines occurs when Mary drags Pat to the architecture exhibit. After Pat tries repeatedly to hurry things up and leave the place fearing that he may be found out, they run into Tucker, who exacerbates the Pat's anxiety.

Tucker: Where have I seen your work?
Pat: Well, have you been to, uh well, let me see... Santiago, Chile?
Tucker: Twice last year. Which building's yours?
Pat: Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?
Tucker: Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?
Pat: No, just down the street the Celinto Catayente Towers. It's quite a fine example, in fact. I recommend that next time you're up that way that you drop in and take a gander at it yourself.

Norm the Pizza Guy as Tucker the Architect

Dennis Akayama in "Welcome to Mooseport"

Dennis Akayama as Izuki Nami









On November 18th of 2004, The William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library opened to the public. In February of the same year, Welcome to Mooseport opened in a theater nowhere near you, in fact I think it went direct to video, anyhow....

The plot of this movie involves an Ex-President (Gene Hackman) running for mayor against a small town handi-man. A subplot of the movie involves the President's contact with the architect that is designing his legacy, the Monroe "Eagle" Cole Presidential Library. This subplot involves three interactions, at the first interaction, the architect presents this piece of shit:



The Ex-President walks into the architect's studio.
Architect: I present to you the Monroe 'Eagle' Cole Presidential Library! European rationalism inter-woven with American Modernism, a metophor of organic growth, a man made mountain over which soars the Eagle!
Ex-President: Its fantastic! Is it big enough?
Architect: Its 40,000 square ft. sir
Ex-President: (to aide) Ben?
Ben: Clinton's is 20,000 sir.
Ex-President: Excellent!

Midway through the mayoral campaign, the president needs more cash to pay for his ads, posters and whatnot. This moneys for this endeavor are taken from the budget for the library, which doesn't get redesigned so much as subtracted...


Architect: Wha-la!
Ex-President: (nonchalantly) Thats it?
Architect: Nothing to it. You save 3 million dollars and look, still beautiful!
Ex-President: Excellent, excellent. I don't even miss it. (ex-pres leaves the office)
Architect: Son-of-a-bitch!

Towards the very end of the flick, the library takes some more cuts, and nobody cares but the architect. He sits at the model, crying, sobbing to himself, "It was so beautiful!"

Sorry architect, but it really wasn't.

Matthew Broderick in "The Cable Guy"

Matthew Broderick as Steven M. Kovacs








Steven M. Kovacs is an architect that does all the things we expect an architect to do when the job is just a means to show that a movie character is smart, hardworking and respectable. Once again, the job serves as the straight man to Jim Carrey's stooge (see post on Steve Martin in house sitter).

Steven Makes a Presentation that Everyone Loves!

Steven takes a Personal Call while at a Job Site!


Steven Takes his T-Square with him when he gets fired (see post on Jungle Fever)!